Do you know Jack?

Most people are at a complete loss for a response when
someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"

Now you can intellectually handle the situation.


Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.


Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, had married O. Schitt,
a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt wed Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple
produced seven children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt,
Buncha Schitt, and the twins: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.


      The winner of last year's dildo-lookalike contest...

Alas, after being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt finally divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were now living
with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was thus known as
Mrs. Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Noe nose her Schitt!  When he looks at Noe he reckons she's hot!

Some years later, the youngest - Dip Schitt - married a girl named Loda Crock.
Dip Schitt and Loda Schitt produced a rather nervous son - Chicken Schitt.


Soon after, and against his parents' objections, Deep Schitt followed suit
and married Dumb Schitt - a high school drop out.

  True to her name...

Sisters Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, who had been inseparable throughout
childhood, subsequently married the Happenz brothers in a dual ceremony.


The newspapers announced it as the Schitt-Happenz wedding.
The Schitt-Happenz children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.

Buncha Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Piza Schitt.


On a tragic note, Bull Schitt succumbed to alcohol and finally
was found dead in a roach motel owned by the Orral sisters.


Holie, in turn, had a gender-adjustment operation.


So now, if someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt",
you can confidently correct them since...

...not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family!

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